When I say you always have a choice, how does that feel to you? Are you resistant to receiving that information? Did you just say to yourself, “NO I DON’T!?” People get stuck in thinking they can’t do xyz because of their situation.
We like to blame others for what happens in our life or say that we don’t have enough money or time to do it. We always have a choice. I like to give this example of choice: If someone slaps me across the face, they have NO idea how I will respond. I could laugh, cry or get angry. I have a choice on how I want to respond. I may respond differently at different times. Any feeling that arises is okay!
You have a choice on how you perceive life’s situations and experiences. That does not mean to put on a happy face and pretend that everything is “okay.” It is not about pushing your feelings away or not feeling them. It is not always about choosing this one or that one. It means recognizing you have a choice to feel your emotions when they arise, express them and let them flow through you.
As I was getting my Kickstarter project going, my friends, Allen and Charlotte agreed to shoot my video for my project. I met with them one morning to discuss the video. I asked when we could shoot and Allen said, “We can do it later today!” I didn’t think it would happen so fast but I said “okay.” I came home “to get ready,” which really meant calming my nerves. My housemate was home and I told him we were going to shoot in a few hours. He asked if I was excited. My stomach had butterflies and I had energy bouncing all around me. I said, “Yes, I am feeling excited AND nervous! Oddly enough, feeling excited and nervous both feel the same in my body! I am going to focus on excited because that helps me to feel better.” At that moment, I realized how I was feeling and that I had a choice to HOW I wanted to label that feeling. This is an example of making a choice which involved only my feelings. So it works for you alone and when in situations with others.
Make choices out of love for yourself. Not in a selfish way, but in a way of honoring who you are. If you are making decisions based on guilt or “have to,” you are not being true to yourself. Eventually, resentment will build. Stored fear-based emotions will build by not expressing who you really are in that moment when the request is being made. If you are saying “yes” when you’re really wanting to say “no” you are not honoring yourself. I remember in my Nonviolent Communication class, my teacher Peggy Smith once said, “Saying no is saying yes to something else.” I love that! Instead of feeling guilty that you told someone you can’t help them move furniture, look at what you are saying “yes” to. Maybe it’s “yes” to taking care of your health or giving yourself a day of “play,” because you worked hard all week long. Focus on the “yes.” You can choose what you want to focus on!
If you are wavering or questioning a choice you have made, you are living in the past. If you are thinking about how you are going to feel when the boss gives you a raise, you are living in the future. Breathe and bring yourself into the moment. Allow being present. Allow.
Choose love and light instead of fear. What feels better in your body? Hatred, anger and fear or love, joy and compassion? Sit quietly with yourself and discover what comes up for you. Whatever comes up, CHOOSE to feel it!
love and light