Open your heart to receive other perspectives!  There are as many different perspectives as there are people on the planet!  Be patient.  Have curiosity for understanding, compassion, empathy, and love.  Remember that we are all one.
Sometimes it is hard to understand where someone else is “coming from” and what their intentions are.  If we can learn to have curiosity and understanding with an open heart and be dedicated to sincere communication, then maybe we can get some clarity and make a connection with another person.
A few years back my cat, Jake, went missing.  My boyfriend, at the time, and I had plans to go to a friends dinner party.  He asked if I still wanted to go with him.  I didn’t.  I was feeling upset that my cat was gone.  I was also feeling mad that he would even ask me that question AND that he was STILL going to the party!  I wanted to stick around the house in case Jake came home or walk around the neighborhood to search for him.  I expressed that I wanted to be home because my cat was missing.  I did not express my emotions about being mad that he chose to go to the dinner party and not to comfort me and help me look for Jake.  I have found that learning to connect with how you are feeling in the moment and then communicating that to another, takes practice!  Thoughts turned in my head all night.  “How could he still go to the party?  How insensitive! Why didn’t he offer to come over and stay with me?!”  I was baffled.  How could someone that I was dating be so insensitive???  I finally got the courage to say how I was feeling the next day.  I said that I was feeling mad.  I asked how he could still think I  wanted to go to the party?  He responded by saying that he thought I would want a distraction and to be around friends.  In his mind, he was being sensitive and supportive.  In Nonviolent Communication (NVC), part of the process is understanding universal needs.  These are needs that everyone on the planet has no matter who you are or where you live.  My boyfriend was nurturing the needs of fun and play and I was nurturing the needs of compassion and grieving.  Once I knew his intention and saw his actions from HIS perspective,  I instantly relaxed, felt ease in my body and my heart opened.  I was able to realize that I too have the needs of fun and play, they were just not on the forefront for me at the time.  We connected through our discussion and I realized that we have different ideas on how to deal with particular situations in life and that’s okay!  I also recognized that there are times when I DO want a distraction.  It was a great lesson to learn.  I gained an understanding that we all have our own perspective in life.  To know someone else’s view can be a bridge for a heartfelt connection.

We do not always know the intentions of another.  If you truly want to make connections with other people, have a sincere curiosity and be receptive to hear other perspectives with an open heart.  Don’t be afraid to ask questions to get clarity.


“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”
Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

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