The lotus

Within every one of life’s experiences, there is a flower waiting to bloom. How and when the petals open depends on you.

This summer I felt heartbreak like never before. I didn’t know that this kind of love connection existed. Truly beyond words! When the relationship ended, I felt so much sadness and despair. At times, it was as if a semi truck was pressing on my heart. The experience thrust me into a daily meditation practice and daily beach walk for 3 months.
I was on my beach walk one day and my head was spinning with thoughts of the past and worries and doubts of the future. Then a thought popped into my head “This is what I’m doin’.”I am walking on the beach. Be in the moment. Feel the warmth. Look around at the beauty. When I became present, the worries, sadness and all those other fear-based emotions of the past and future quieted.  I felt better in my body. It was magical. I felt empowered! Remembering that I had and do have a choice in each moment on how I feel and whether or not to be present changed my life.
Later in the week, I resorted back to my old patterns of dealing with life when I didn’t want to deal with life. I opened a bottle of wine and lit up a cigarette. I immediately went to judgment mode. I was judging myself for falling back into old behaviors. Then the thought, “This is what I’m doin'” popped back in my mind. I laughed to myself and said, “that would be great on a t-shirt”. It would remind myself and others to live in the moment. “This is what I’m doin’.” Ha! Be empowered! Love and accept myself in every experience I create.
“This is what I’m doin'” became a mantra for me all summer long, as it still is today. I felt and feel so passionate about building the “This is what I’m doin'” community. Starting a movement of living in the present, being empowered, loving and accepting yourself. I attempted a Kickstarter project to no avail. My thinking was to create a whole business around the mantra “This is what I’m doin’.” I realized though that what I really want to create is a community. I want to help people with their own life journey. So, I came up with this plan B. Starting a blog to help spread the word and see how the flower blooms from here.

love and light