tug of love

tug of love
“Fight cancer,” “fight diabetes,” “fight aging,” “fight anxiety,” “fight depression!”  Have you seen, heard or used these words?  These are words used in describing something going on in someone’s body, maybe it’s YOUR BODY!  It is literally creating a battle within. I recently saw an ad in a magazine that read “Fight breast cancer” and later began hearing the ad on the radio.  It got me thinking about the words we use in our world.  Specifically, when talking about our bodies.  I feel anxious just thinking about fighting.  I cannot imagine telling myself that I am going to “fight my anxiety.”  What a conundrum!  Words have meanings and connotations attached to them.  Different words bring up certain FEELINGS in our body,  which our body RESPONDS to in different ways. We have all kinds of sensations that can arise; hot, cold, tension, relaxation, some pleasant, some not so pleasant.  I would like to see a change in how we use the word “fighting” when speaking about cancer, disease, depression, anxiety, even a cold. There is enough fighting going on in our world as it is. We do not need to be using the word “fight” when talking about our body ailments or aging.  They are both completely NATURAL experiences of the human body!  Using “fight” in this way cultivates disconnection from self.  It is creating violence within self and supporting violence in our world.  By “pushing away ” what we don’t want to be happening in our body is a war going on within.
The Merriamwebster dictionary’s definition of fighting is: To use weapons or physical force to try to hurt someone, to defeat an enemy, etc. : to struggle in battle or physical combat
The word fight is used to describe violence.  Is this how you want to talk about your body?!  “Defeat an enemy?!”  When saying things like “I am fighting my breast cancer,” you are saying that the enemy is part of your own body!  It is not loving all of you.
Have you heard of Masaru Emoto?  He was a Japanese researcher and author who studied how water crystals can change with different kinds of words written on a glass of water.  Here is a photo of water molecules taken with the words “hate and love”, “war and peace”.  You can see the disjointedness of the molecules with the words hate and war and the harmonious symmetry of love and peace.
145553913.kHMS8rwu.WaterCrystals
Our bodies are made up of 55-75% water.  That being the case, paying attention to how we speak about yourself can play a part in how we feel.  How you think and what you say can directly have an impact on your well being, the well being of others and the planet.  If you say “I hate this about my body,” think about what the molecules of water in your body look like; disjointed aggression.  Saying “I love all of me,” creates calm harmonious energy flowing through your body.  Which would you prefer to have circulating through your body?
My dad died from cancer.  I remember him saying many times with a fist in the air,  “I’M GOING TO FIGHT THIS CANCER UNTIL THE END!!”  And he did, which led to some very challenging times for him AND his loved ones.  I wonder if he didn’t think of his cancer as something to fight against if he wouldn’t have suffered so much?  He truly believed that he could “beat cancer” and live forever.  There were times when he was in remission but after 7 years of back and forth, he passed on.  If you are fighting an illness in order to live and consider that “winning,” I will tell you now, that you will “lose.”  The fact is, one way or another,  WE ALL WILL TRANSITION FROM OUR BODY.
None of us know when we will leave our body, but we can do our best to feel ease, peace and reach optimal health while living.  That includes treating yourself with love and kindness. If you have a goal to live longer in your body, I invite you to think of NEW ways to think and speak of whatever may be going on with you.  For example, if you have cancer cells growing in your body and you talk about “fighting” the cancer, you are creating friction within just by talking in that way.  This is not living with peace.  So, how can we talk about what we are doing to feel better when there is a dis-ease happening within?  It is not a passive surrender, “Oh I have cancer, I’m  not going to do anything about it.”  It is surrendering to what is and making a conscious decision to express to yourself and others about the actions you are taking with what is going on in your body.  It doesn’t have to be violent.  What about saying “I have cancer growing in my body and I am taking steps toward making healthier cells in my body.” Or: “I have _____(fill in the blank) happening in my body and I am doing ______(fill in the blank)  toward feeling better.”  Instead of,  “I’m fighting this cold!” you could say; ” I have a cold and I am taking vitamin C and resting to help process the cold through my system.”  It is possible to take action with what is going on in your body, with wisdom, compassion, and love for all that is happening inside you.  To surrender is not “giving up,”  but is allowing and accepting what is happening in life.  And we all know, there is ALWAYS something happening in life!
As humans, we like answers and like trying to fix things.  It is a choice to suffer.  Feel what there is to feel and allow. By allowing and letting go of the battle within,  you will be living in a more peaceful manner and help create peace and harmony in the world.  Life isn’t about fighting and winning.  If you “win” the fight against cancer, do you become immortal? No, you don’t.  Fighting is an aggressive violent word that I do not want to associate with ANYTHING going on in my body. My new motto when feeling ill: ” I have a TUG OF LOVE with my healthy cells and compromised (unhealthy) cells.  I have a love for my life in this body to last longer, be healthier and breathe easier.”  Think about creating love, surrounding yourself with love and peace.  Fighting is not an action that comes from the heart.  Fighting creates separation and contraction.  Find the connection to your heart.  Nurture and cultivate peace and harmony within.  Choose to live from a  place where you can allow life to flow and move through you, not fight it at every turn.  Talk about suffering!  I believe it is very important to recognize the words we use. Doing so is a continual refinement, but pertinent for creating peace within so we can begin to see peace mirrored more and more on the outside.
Homework: Work that brings YOU back to you!  Set a timer for AT LEAST 3 minutes today to reflect on what words you use when talking about your body and self.  Close your eyes and breathe.  Soften your body and continue to breathe.  After the timer goes off, turn up the corners of your mouth and slowly open your eyes.

♥ in love, light and peace

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